From In Gethsemane: Transcripts of a Journey www.amazon.co.in
“I am a little bit pregnant”, she said removing her sunglasses and tossing them on the table with deliberate intent on breaking them.
“So who did it?” I asked.
“Who did it?”
“Yes, who did it?”
“So is this an immaculate conception or botched contraception?”
“No, don’t be daft, I’m not pregnant that way”
“Then what way”
“It’s like a spirit from this island has set up home here” she said pointing to her stomach “I have named it India”
“You know when you travel India you will understand…the energy…the filth…the hunger…the beauty…the ancient culture all mixed up with gleaming skyscrapers, posh cars and high fashion…there is a parallel world existing there…a world of gossamer lace woven of a spiritual force so strong that it entraps your soul…do you understand what I am trying to tell you…or are you one of those bloody Indians from the arrogant middle class who live their lives in sterile flats with consumer toys, credit cards and flashy dinky cars…huh…”
“India does this to many first time travelers. You hate it. You love it. And you can’t ignore it. And no I am not from the Class you despise. I am a traveler like you except I don’t have a country…a home…and my friends are dogs, cats and trees. The first two keep me company and love me. The trees give me shade and their spirits often speak to me when the music dies within…And yes I do comprehend what you are saying…maybe this is the end of the innocence for you…maybe India, the stepmother of the world, has broken through and peeled the false layers of imagined knowledge you thought you possessed and confronted you with yourself…maybe it is time you shared this with others…maybe it is time for you to be a mother…a real mother…”
“I am thirty, an architect from London and my job and life there is stressful…there are times when I want to drop everything and wander the world…this beautiful, crazy, dangerous world. It’s probably better to die while walking in a forest then to fade into old age working in a city job…it’s horrible, grotesque…Gothic life this…this…what I live…day in and day…and to bring a child into my present world is sadistic…”
“Woman per se is the more complete of the two sexes. A woman has her periods, creates a creature of joy within her and then breast feeds the new born…the man is only part of a woman…probably that’s why he spends nine months inside a woman and then attempts to get back in again the rest of his life…hahaha”
“Hahahahah…yes I suppose you are right in a sense…but then one has been traveling a lot and has yet to find a suitable partner…someone with sensitivity, and yet not clingy, possessive and violent…I have been looking…”
“Don’t look…Don’t hope…Don’t judge…Just live your life free of the clutches of society that imprisons in an insidious manner and poisons the free will that lives within us all…free fall and let the experiences flow…in the end…there will be an end you will unravel the knots of confusion that reside within you as a result of social conditioning and you will be truly free…a free woman in every sense…”
In the darkening twilight they stood under the forest canopy sipping hot black coffee listening to the distant thunder heralding another storm.
And as the first large drops fell from the ominous sky she reached out and held his trembling hand.
It was going to be another lonely night.
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti Om© Mark Ulyseas, August 24,2010