Live Encounters Poetry & Writing May 2024.
If only I were elsewhere, poems by John Grey.
If only I were elsewhere
Sky’s wide and blue,
but I’m trembling all over.
It’s a Summer sky
but it may as well be January.
I’m lost in the woods,
thick foliage,
but not as thick
as the jacket my body needs.
A jacket of courage.
A jacket of sanctuary.
And then the sun slips away.
With lengthening shadows.
the trees no longer disguise
their true nature.
These are not oaks and elms,
but lookouts, wind whisperers.
Branches rustle,
“He’s here and he’s alone.”
I stumble on,
down a trail
that feels more like
it’s leading me farther in
than to the way out.
The ground beneath
is soft and pliable.
Like a tongue.
I fear it is a tongue.
I can hear teeth grinding,
stomach rumbling,
somewhere up ahead.
Hard times
I was a month late
leaving the Christmas tree
out for pickup.
And I never did get around
to writing to my elected official.
So the bad times are all on me.
Like when I confused the X-factor
for its Z opposite.
And I played down the scar
when I could have flashed it brazenly.
But that’s the way I am.
I’m always somewhere in the process
of establishing myself
as my own worst enemy.
I extended the finger
when it wasn’t warranted.
My remote control went missing
for the better part of a week.
I feel as if I have a world record
in me somewhere
but only for doing something bad.
Like the number of times
I’ve killed my own weekend plans.
Or wasted hours perusing
on-line dating tips.
Yes these are hard times.
Hard times for the
strip-mall computer repair shop
where I work.
But also hard times
for that nagging feeling
that I’ve forgotten something important.
And hard times for knowing
I’ll never be a self-made man.
There are good times of course.
Like when I look in the mirror,
and tell myself,
“Not bad for a guy your age.”
But that’s always moments before
I take back what I said.
© John Grey
John Grey is an Australian poet, US resident, recently published in New World Writing, North Dakota Quarterly and Lost Pilots. Latest books, “Between Two Fires”, “Covert” and “Memory Outside The Head” are available through Amazon. Work upcoming in California Quarterly, Seventh Quarry, La Presa and Doubly Mad.