Live Encounters Poetry & Writing May 2024.
The Magician’s Hijab, story by Ahmad Al-Shahawy.
Translated from Arabic by Dr. Salwa Gouda.
To Nawal Issa
Because of your departure, I go to bed afraid of my tomorrow.
To my son Ahmad
Put a violet on my grave every time the sun rises,
And the sun will come to you as usual.
To Shams Hamdi
I know that the earth no longer rejoices for me
It’s as if my heart is sleeping in your hands
Your water is running, flowing between my sides, and it is the treasure of my life.
The world will stand for a long time before your eyes, which taught me to strive
to change the alphabet.
I will not go to some theory to write it or tell its story, as the written form is loose and broad, and I prefer not to be boring, or make my readers turn away from me due to excessive boredom, digression, and immersion in the minutes and tempting small margins of any writer or reader, as the details are many and the secrets are more. I did not go to writing except to bring joy to myself first, to fill my heart with joy and happiness, as I delight in contemplation and deep observation towards what others do not see, seeking to record or create a parallel world to the life of Shams Hamdi, who is one of the best women, and no woman has been more charming and beautiful since Eve, preserving her history from disappearance and oblivion, so that her memory does not fade, as she always tells me: “Everything has a flaw, and the flaw of knowledge is forgetfulness”; and for you to read her story in her life, before she goes to her secret and mysterious world, where she lives the rest of her life in the embrace of ancient mistresses who revive in her room. Sekhmet, the lioness Goddess, known as the Avenger of the Wronged, rides her new car that her wealthy father contributed to buying.
“I will not forget the unforgettable in my life, as humans do not forget their pains and sorrows, the signs of damage in their souls, and the death marks that crowded their hearts. I wished for the oblivion of possessions, what fell and was left of it for its worthlessness, but unfortunately, my bag is full of what I hate. I never loved fighting, and I do not want the lamp of my mind to remain lit all the time; I want to rest. I, who have doubled and multiplied, haunted by ghosts about myself every night, and that will not be achieved for me with a memory composed of layers, where incidents are repeated, and it is written in its map that it is resistant to forgetting. I need to cross my limits so as not to fall into the abyss, and to lose more than I am in it of confusion and disappointment, and to distance myself from the one my heart chose as a lover. I feel every night – as a day is subtracted from my life – that I am a woman devoured by a huge snake, and sometimes I see myself being sacrificed, near an unknown temple whose name I did not ascertain, and that I live in no place, time, or logic, between wakefulness and dream, where my past merges with my present, and I often see the unseen sleeping on my pillow, lurking, as if I A defeated queen or mistress, compelled to the altar despite her status and history, tries to escape with the coming of night, but the door does not open despite repeated attempts,” said Shams.
I can intervene a little in weaving and braiding, not in the way everyone expected; because her world is richer and more flowing with imagination. Of course, I must mention that she inspired me with some light to write, and she was frank with me to the extent that I did not find in any other women I knew or encountered.
She enjoys a great deal of honesty and intelligence, and in many cases, I find her poor and lacking in resourcefulness. Sometimes I see her skillful in managing her affairs, and getting out of difficulties easily and smoothly, and sometimes I see her powerless, unable to do what is necessary, as if she had no trick left in her hand, and she exhausted all means and possibilities, and tired of the available tricks, but she is unable to see, as if she is among “those who cannot find a way out, nor are guided on a path,” and I always say to her, my sun: “If you have no trick for the matter, and you find nothing but patience, then be patient.”
I will not tidy up anything, nor will I shield from myself or from her what I envision in the realm of my imagination or my mind. I will not delve into explanations or interpretations because I belong to those who seek revelations, ponder meanings, and contemplate the hidden truths. I prefer to let events unfold naturally without imposing my influence. Writing about Shams Hamdi carry profound significance, offering lessons and insights rather than mere storytelling for amusement.
Shams Hamdi’s life is a tapestry of richness and diversity. She is a woman who presents
herself differently each night and day, embodying multiple personas instead of repeating herself. She captivates everyone’s attention, teaching us that with unwavering faith, one can move mountains. Her name is Shams, but she is a multitude of suns due to her exceptional individuality. By day, she immerses herself in ancient texts like “The Book of the Dead” and “The Then followed by another hour or more of reading in the book “Metun Al-Ahram or the Texts of the Pyramids,” you no longer know if she is Shams Hamdi, or Isis, or Sekhmet, or are they all one woman, living inside her a goddess who came to save people from evil and sins?
“My goal is to help myself in the afterlife with this consecutive daily reading, since I understood what the book is, and what reading is? Which I see as rituals, ceremonies, invocations, hymns, incantations, and religious prayers, as its presence in the pyramids, always attracts me to read and embody it, as through it I realize my mind, and I try to know who I am, and I unravel my intense mystery and turmoil with it, which accompany me as I cross worlds and strange doors, and caves of secrets, perhaps I find the happiness that I have not tasted in my life with people who misunderstand me and do not know who I am?
Although every time I read it, I found around me hundreds of snakes and serpents, which I could find in my grave one day, but they look at me with sorrow, leaving me without harm, danger, or risk, as I see myself remaining alive in the afterlife, and only my enemies whom I specified in my life will die, and I wrote their names on a paper and folded it many folds so as not to attract attention, putting his name at the top of the list, followed by two, one of them from my family, and the other from the filth of the leftist movement in Egypt, and I placed it in a secret place known only to me, and perhaps someone will find it one day after I go to my world, and they are not many, because I naturally hate having enemies, so I traveled to the afterlife alive without death; so I can live forever, and if I die, I will live again in the kingdom of heaven; because I usually flee from death, I am against darkness and stillness, seeing
myself in a distant kingdom in the form of a star that never sets or disappears, and of course never perishes, as if I am in a stellar afterlife, and I also see myself as a goddess of the sun as if I am in a solar afterlife, soaring above the enemies of The air, I traverse the countries of the sky as an eternal goddess, ascending on a ladder made for me by the rays of the sun that hangs from the sky, I carry my prestige on my head, and I also carry my disappointment that no one knows except you, and on my neck are the charms that you made for me; To protect me wherever I am I hope you are not surprised, and do not accuse me of nonsense and madness, for you are the only one on this earth who trusts me, loves me sincerely, and has given me so much, to the point that I always told you: You deserve a better woman than me, but you stuck to me, despite the confusion that struck my soul, and you tolerated my inconsistency. And I am not consistent, and you wore ignorance with me, and you tried to drain the waters of evil from my land that the enemies gave me to drink, and you are still trying, and in your hand is a silver inkwell that your grandmother had left for you, and two old pens that your father left for you before his early death, one of them for the black ink that you prefer and write with, The second is for red ink so that you can correct my mistakes, your mistakes, and the mistakes of others.”
At night Shams sleeps with her friends from the mistresses, where they gather and hover around her, giving her a lot of advice. She does not miss a night without one of the mistresses gifting her one of their jewels, especially the rings adorned with pieces of precious gems or engraved inscriptions, which give her the ability to control demons or genies, communicate with animals and birds, particularly with the hoopoes, can open doors, enter caves, uncover treasures, and enter paradise.
Nothing on land or at sea is withheld from Shams Hamdi because the rings are linked to the rotation of the planets, the movements of the planets and the constellations, and they are “subtle wonders of the Creator’s craftsmanship and a sign of His system and wisdom.” They possess spiritual virtues indicating power, reverence, and greatness. Every movement or gesture that comes from the hand adorned with its rings predicts a specific spiritual stance, and the more the rings increase, the more the situations increase, as if they were dances conversing with the lords in their heavens. The ring, in general, is the stamp, the mark, and the symbol, indicating authority, fame, and wealth. The right hand signifies spiritual authority and the path to the heavens that those on earth strive for. If Shams Hamdi has been chosen and selected as a goddess among humans.
The mood rings, each containing a thermochromic colored element like liquid crystal, so that the color changes based on the finger’s temperature. The ring is accompanied by a colored graphical drawing, indicating the presumed mood of the wearer based on the ring’s color. The ancient Egyptians were the first to use rings as a link between two hearts that joined and mingled.
Gold was more widespread than silver, as the Egyptians could easily access the sunny metal, while silver was more expensive than gold adorned with carnelian and turquoise. Shams Hamdi prefers the emerald stone because of its magical abilities, especially in making talismans, spells, and amulets. Whoever wears it will be rewarded and will not see misfortune, “wild animals will be humbled before him,” and God does not reject a hand sealed with it in vain, granting emerald safety, confidence, and the ability to focus. It is linked to the planet Mercury, eliminates negative energy, disturbing nightmares, and bad dreams, provides protection against the “evil eye,” makes the person who wears it relaxed and calm, takes away stress and anxiety, improves memory and the ability to think, and also protects the wearer from snake and scorpion bites. It is considered a stone. The divine one of the goddess Isis; Because it is a symbol of eternal life and is known as the “healing stone.” Because it achieves emotional, physical, and spiritual balance for whoever wears it, and strengthens insight and faith, it is believed that it helps with inspiration, gives calm to the soul, helps relax, and has therapeutic benefits for those who suffer from insomnia, asthma, ulcers, and problems that affect the heart.
Since Shams Hamdi read the teachings of Ptah-Hotep, who was interested in emeralds, and she does not forget his wisdom that says: “Beautiful speech is more illuminating than the emerald we find among the pebbles.” These teachings are a collection of judgments and advice directed from Ptah-Hotep to his son, known as the “Words of the Gods.” Shams used to repeat these words whenever she was alone in her room, car, or at her desk in the popular neighborhood of Cairo, as if reminding herself of her situation.
Those who always desire women will not succeed in anything they plan. And at this wisdom, she shouts loudly: “Listen to me, O conqueror, the time is near, and it’s your turn now, you dog.”
The noblewomen who believe in the power of gems and magical symbols to influence their lives had gifted Shams Hamdi with round, flat, and wide necklaces that extend from the end of the neck to the shoulders and chest, woven around the neck, or in the middle of it a pendant in the shape of a human, bird, or fish. Earrings, which are one of the oldest known customs throughout history for body adornment, and bracelets dedicated to the upper arm, known as the “armlet,” embellished with lapis lazuli, red agate, adorned with shapes of gold inlaid for the female falcon to ward off evil, and others adorned with the goose, with engravings on their inner surface of cartridges and epithets belonging to the lady Isis.
Chains for the abdomen and waist, belts made of rare gemstones, necklaces, and splendidly designed anklets engraved with amulets and royal titles, are among the ornaments and jewelry tools of the ancient Egyptians. Crowned with gemstones, they emit a sense of comfort and tranquility, adorned with genital parts in the lotus flower, symbolizing purity and clarity. This flower blooms at dawn and closes at dusk for five days, shedding its petals on Thursday to reveal a green seed pod, bending towards the water to scatter its seeds, initiating a new cycle of life. It is the symbol of creation among the ancient Egyptians, one of the holiest flowers, and the most magnificent in beauty. It is the queen of perfumes, offered as sacrifices during funerary rituals.
The noblewomen presented Sun of the valuable necklaces that adorn the neck, bracelets, necklaces, and collars that fill her chest carried on the most beautiful of shoulders, in them lies the collection of her desires, they can be a leader, a guide, and a signpost for a woman, as even noblewomen do not have breasts that resemble her breasts, except perhaps for Sakham.
Sun’s neck is like a vessel nearing fullness, where it rises and stands proudly, overlooking
the sky challenging limits and constraints, as if it is noble heading towards high matters, for the neck is the most prominent feature – and I will not forget her eyes and waist in the body of Sun Hamdi – because it signifies her fertility and femininity, “breasts like ivory’s right, cheaply,” and whenever I saw her, I repeated to her a verse from Ibn al-Rumi: (Women who have no flaw, except preventing the lover from embracing).
The sun celebrates its beauty in its daily rituals, to the extent that she distanced herself from her lover, no longer seeing him or even speaking to him, contenting herself with writing to him from time to time, affirming to him – whenever he complains and reproaches – that love is a spiritual connection, not just a physical one, although he realizes that she is a woman inflamed with intense desire and passion, with a strong sexual urge to make love, she is agitated, with turbulent waves, and this intensity of desire is not found in other women on earth, it is a divine gift, a sacred grant from heaven.
She does not be satisfied with a little pleasure, because it is a sea of desire, and the mythical rebellion that distinguishes it from women. She brings things and actions that her lover does not expect, and did not anticipate, but he undoubtedly started to love her and eagerly awaits her. Whenever she gives him an appointment, she breaks it, without apologizing, even though he waits for her mentally, emotionally, and physically prepared, to the point where he doubts that love has gone from her heart to another direction, or that she may have known another, and he, in such a situation, as much as he loves, his detachment is as much, and he forgets what happened, even if he experiences pain and suffering, and she deprived him of her, until he became a barren wasteland.} s it within the realm of possibility for me to say that the sun is the key of its time, and through it, I can uncover many mysterious phenomena, in which there is ambiguity, concealment, obscurity, and confusion, and a lot of lack of clarity, and that it helps me as much as I help it to return to the sun that I first knew.
Shams Hamdi is a museum that I used to go to fill my soul with joyful beauty that inspires living. She is a vast, multi-faceted, and diverse world or miniature universe. She is a woman who does not know how to compromise or barter. I see her as a living model for anyone who wants to understand the theory of art or the philosophy of beauty. You will find in her what is not… According to Hegel, Schopenhauer, Heidegger, Jean-Paul Sartre, Merleau-Ponty, and other philosophers of aesthetics who followed in their footsteps.
© Ahmad Al-Shahawy
Ahmad Al-Shahawy is an Egyptian poet and the author of more than 20 books and poetry collections. His poems have been translated into many languages, including French, Italian, English, Turkish and Spanish. He participated in many international poetry festivals organized in many countries of the world. Al-Shahawy was also the recipient of the UNESCO Literature Award in 1995 and the Cavafy Poetry Award in 1998. Four of his literary works are nominated in the long list of the Sheikh Zayed Book Award in the branch of literature, including his novel The Magician’s Hijab 2022. Also, recently, Lavender Ink / Diálogos published Al-Shahawy’s poetry anthology entitled Alone by the Nile, 2023.
Dr. Salwa Gouda is an Egyptian literary translator, critic, and academic at the English Language and Literature Department at Ain-Shams University. She holds a PhD in English literature and criticism. She received her education at Ain-Shams University and California State University in San Bernardino. She has published several academic books, including “Lectures in English Poetry, and “Introduction to Modern Literary Criticism” and others. She has also contributed to the translation of “The Arab Encyclopedia for Pioneers,” which includes poets and their poetry, philosophers, historians, and men of letters, under the supervision of UNESCO. Additionally, her poetry translations have been published in various international magazines.