Alicia Viguer-Espert – Homesickness

Espert LE P&W January 2024

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Live Encounters Poetry & Writing, January 2024

Homesickness, poems by Alicia Viguer-Espert


How long has the sea known
about saturnine heartbeats,
sea urchins prickling
the soul
which neither Calamine,
pearl necklaces
nor murmurs from stars
can heal?

Visions of my sea and this ocean
paralyze me with ambivalence.
Now and then, a wave whispers
of what I miss, and dismiss,
I peek into my chest
and notice the darkness
of a sinkhole
larger than Florida.

Like that mediaeval girl
buried face down
ankles bound so she couldn’t
return from the grave,
I’m tied to a place
I love sometimes,
and fear,
most of the time,
that it will become the lieu
where they bury me.

The Mind

The light of the mind bright as it is, it is not
what I seek must be perennial pine trees,
bright green, sitting with like companions
in the temple of leaves, needles pungent
and sharp like swords ready to cut through
distractions, seductive thoughts, the honey
of a flickering phone calling me to engage
with a world of plenty unnecessary news.

It’s late, I tell my mind to be quiet,
I tell my mind to be still, so I can hear
the voice of the Beloved whispering.
What I hear is the body complaining,
lumbar vertebrae, scapula, cervical sprain,
every part clamors for complete attention.
A voice brings to mind that day when at 6
I was scolded for something I didn’t do,

another suggests what I should cook for dinner.
The force of Samskaras pushes like a tsunami
impossible to control. Not the captain of my boat,
I fear throwing old patterns overboard could be
a crime against creativity. Alone, I try to fight the
waves, fail, try again. Finally, I straighten my back,
ask aid from the Spirit, still doubting if I will be
able to change enough to hear with all this chatter.

The Wheel

We walk straight towards a body pulled by desire to bloom inside limbs
which one day will crack, deform and decompose. I imagine how a drunken
soul aspiring to joy gives itself to the vacuum of space, which like amniotic
fluid will sustain it until earthy arrival.

Incarnation, the act of a soul entering the “carne,” consists of expanding to
be constricted. Pure energy aiming to be shaped into form bursts into life.
It’s a two-being affair, one wishing to return because of unfulfilled desires,
and another attracting it with a longing of its own. The expansion proves
illusory, the soul confined into perishable matter suffers and the Hansel
and Gretel’s markers left on the cosmic path are swept away.

as the blue planet beckons
a blind soul rushes
into the trap of the wheel

© Alicia Viguer-Espert

Alicia Viguer-Espert, born and raised in the Mediterranean city of Valencia, Spain, lives in Los Angeles. A three times Pushcart nominee, she has been published in Lummox Anthologies, Altadena Poetry Review, ZZyZx, Panoply, Rhyvers, River Paw Press, Amethyst Review,, and Live Encounters among others. Her chapbooks To Hold a Hummingbird, Out of the Blue Womb of the Sea and 4 in 1, focus on language, identity, home, nature, and soul. In addition to national and international publications, she is included in “Top 39 L.A. Poets of 2017,” “Ten Poets to Watch in 2018,” and “Bards of Southern California: Top 30 poets,” by Spectrum.

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