Jeffrey Paparoa Holman – Unlived life

Holman LE P&W March 2026

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Live Encounters Aotearoa New Zealand Poets & Writers March 2026

Unlived Life, poems by Jeffrey Paparoa Holman.


Unlived life

for Saige

You never hated death, before.
You hate him, now.
No apology, no repentance
turns back this.
No floods of grief
that dam the eyes
can raise her. If only
you were Him, in
that black book, the one you
 loved to hate, if only, Him.
Anything but this, the knife
that knows just where
you hide, and why.
Let me assume she loved
you, knew you well.
She’ll want to tell you, this
 is not the worst – that the unlived
life is hell, the coldest death.


Aerial odes

For Adele, Damian and Esme Mora. 10.1.26
Tamaki Makaurau, Auckland, 1950 -1954.

My spirit flew to me, and made me
wings, when I was deep
inside my mother’s earth. I was
the child of flying things, surging
into the moment, birth.  Like a squab
I nestled at her breast, squawking
with open gob to get my fill: me first,
me first, me first, the hunger squalled.
 Into the air and onto earth, my heartbeat
stalled, a feathered will, climbing
 blind, nursed in the aerial world.

Birds of paradise

A rainbow in a tree was my first bird.
All I could hear was colour, singing songs –
crayons, paints and eggshells, all at once.
I stumbled home with my tropical hoard,
jumbled nonsense in excited lungs, to
jabber at Mum of the happenstance.
“I saw a bird, a bird, it was gold and red!
It had two silver, silver wings!
It flew inside me, Mum! It’s true!”
& radiance came to nest
at the end of my bed.


© Jeffrey Paparoa Holman

Jeffrey Paparoa Holman writes poetry, short fiction, history and memoir. He has published seven volumes of poetry; Best of Both Worlds (history, 2010); The Lost Pilot (memoir, 2013); Now When it Rains (memoir, 2017).

As Big As A Father (Steele Roberts, 2002) was shortlisted in the Montana Book Awards, Poetry, 2003. Best of Both Worlds: the story of Elsdon Best and Tutakangahau (2010) was shortlisted in the Ernest Scott Prize, History (2011, Australia). His most recent work, a family history, Lily, Oh Lily – Searching for a Nazi ghost, is published by Canterbury University Press.

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