Epicurean Mallard – a life foretold

by Mark Ulyseas

In Gethsemane: Transcripts of a Journey www.amazon.co.in

We, the free range relatives of Daffy Duck, live to be eaten; unlike the four legged critters (dogs) who are considered to be the reincarnation of our Masters’ (Balinese) irascible ancestors returned to face a fate worse than death.

From hatcheries we are set free in the rice fields to preen, bathe and feed on a buffet of creepy crawlies lurking beneath the surface of the tepid brown waters.

In season eager beaver buyers arrive from warungs and other places. Transportation entails being tied by our webbed feet in batches, slung upside down across the handlebar of a motorcycle and driven swiftly to the kitchens of connoisseurs and plebs.

The end is a tribute to Marquis de Sade: our small bodies are defrocked (pardon the phrase), de-feathered, disemboweled and slow cooked over glowing embers of coconut husk. Apparently it is not a good look to lose one’s head.

Jeff the drake, who I hang out with, told me the other day that he had seen his cousin (twice removed) well dressed and laid out on a porcelain dish replete with gravy and a side portion of stir fried veggies. He was being picked on by an Amazon who was cooing sweet nothings to her companion, a runt with a grunt.

Around these parts we are called Bebek (served smoked or Peking style). And speaking about Peking, Jeff has a fetish for peeking up someone else’s feathers. Silly chap, but he is the drake who is a rake with the right connections. One supposes to be bird brained has its moments.

All in all it’s a beautiful life (though short lived) where the means justifies the end.

Quack, quack, quack…i.e. after the fat lady has sung we’ll catch up with you on a plate somewhere; And you my friends (we hope) will meet your Maker one day on the great plate in the sky.

Till then, Bon Appetite!

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti Om

©Mark Ulyseas
October 19, 2010

One Reply to “Epicurean Mallard – a life foretold”

  1. Pingback: Epicurean Mallard – a life foretold – markulyseas - My Telegraph

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